On the Altar

I am tired. I am tired of this trial, this test, this burden. It has been hard to find that joy - that "kick up your heels joy" that Kay Arthur talks about. I'll be the first to admit, it's not easy to always feel thankful and joyful. And then I had to run an errand today and on the cd was "My God is Near" (by Mac Lynch). The lyrics to the chorus are:

When God is near, all the world seems far away.

When God is near, every fear is set aside.

When God is near, how can I stray? How can I falter?

I’ll stay upon the altar, I know my God is near.

God is near all the time but when we are going through a trial it seems we see Him more. When we respond correctly to that trial and submit to His will, we feel Him so close and the world does seem so far away. Then I started meditating on the phrase "I'll stay upon the altar". I'd heard the song before and never really thought about those words. What if that altar is not the altar at church, but the altar on Mt. Moriah where Abraham was commanded to offer his son Isaac to God? (Genesis 22) Would I like Abraham and Isaac, willingly travel to that mountain and STAY upon that altar? God didn't say to put Isaac on that altar for a few seconds. He said to leave him there to offer him as a sacrifice.

The second verse of the song says:

Make me know Your presence Lord, when I feel so alone.

You know each trial and testing pain, the hurt that is unknown.

Oh, why can I not see Your hand so firmly guiding me?

Oh how can I untrusting be, when You are very near to me?

And then it hit me, my trial is like that altar. I want my trial to be over. I want to move on with my life. I want things to be easy again, but God is telling me that I need to stay. This trial or testing pain is my sacrifice to God. My God has asked me to stay upon the altar for now. I must respond with obedience.

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God,

to present your bodies as a living sacrifice,

holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.

Romans 12:1 (ESV)

So, I can say tonight "I'll stay". For as long as He asks me to, I'll stay. And He will give me the grace to accomplish this task and any others He sends my way.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you,

for my power is made perfect in weakness."

I Corinthians 12:9