here we go again

Today my husband lost his job again. God still has a plan for us. I wanted to cry, to ask why, to demand God give me an answer. We were once again just beginning to recover from the long unemployment or "under" employment we endured beginning in 2008. I don't believe God faults us for asking questions in our trials, when we ask them with the right attitude. I have begun to "talk to myself now". I've realized my submission to Almighty God. He doesn't have to give me a reason for the suffering in my life. He can and will do as He chooses. BUT, He LOVES me. He chose to send His Son to suffer in my place. A little financial trouble is nothing compared to death on a cross. God will provide. I don't know when or where but I am confident He is leading and guiding us to His perfect plan for our lives. God is always good.

a "complaint" list

I am a "list" person. I like to make "to-do" lists, grocery lists, prayer lists but what about a "complaint" list. It sounds somewhat unspiritual. My mom, though, encouraged me to do just that. She said sit down and list your top worries or complaints (or, if you want to sound spiritual "prayer requests") and then present them to God. In truth, they were more worries or complaints, I was concerned trying to handle them myself not trusting in God's capable hands.

So, like a good little girl :), I followed my mom's advice. I listed four things.
1. Our finances (Several job changes and a less than booming economy have left us struggling.)
2. My pregnancy (I had just found out (SURPRISE!) that we were expecting again and like any expectant mom worried that something could go wrong.)
3. Our dog (We would like to have our dog, Carolina, live with us; but currently our apartment doesn't allow it. So she stays at Grammy's house and we have to drive over 3 times a day and take care of her.)
4. Baseball ( I admit it, I'm addicted to baseball - from t-ball to MLB! Because our current job situation requires that I work evenings, I would miss the kids coming fall seasons and it's my youngest's first!)

So I closed the door to my room and had a conversation with my God. I just told Him I was tired trying to handle this on my own and needed His intervention. And, do you know, He took over! All I had to do was let go and He was there provide His answer. No, I'm not rich and famous, but He orchestrated a series of events that are providing me with a job (working mornings, taking my kids with me, still homeschooling) that allows me to assist with BASEBALL! Our checkbook is not magically loaded but, as with the widow's oil & meal, enough is there for today and He will continue to provide. The dog is still not here but we're managing and it seems strangely a lot less important. Oh, and I'm still pregnant, God's got that under control, too.

As the old spiritual says,

Gonna lay down my burdens,

Down by the riverside,

Down by the riverside,

Down by the riverside,

Gonna lay down my burdens,

Down by the riverside,

Study war [worry], no more.

We pray and pray and pray and pray, then worry that we haven't prayed enough, when sometimes we just need to lay it down and just let God take over.

Come unto me, all who labor and are heavy laden,

And Iwill give you rest.

Matthew 11:28(ESV)